She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
