I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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