I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
