oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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