I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
