I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
