I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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