I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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