I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
there was a trapeze. enough said
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
