Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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