It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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