I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize