There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
