Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Damn victory sex feels great
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
