is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ladies don't puke and tell
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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