i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize