My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
