last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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