Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
