You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
