I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize