Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
