Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
