No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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