Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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