how do flat chested girls get laid?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
