Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's the barista slut.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
