Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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