btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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