just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Be still, my beating vagina.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize