i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
