WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
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