ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
