Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
