You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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