a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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