I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
