Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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