she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
