turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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