dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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