well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
