I look better un-naked...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
