Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
