So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
