I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
