I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Randomize
