craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
