i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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