Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
