Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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