Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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