wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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