He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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