you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
