3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
