You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
