the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
