Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
